AUTHOR'S NOTE: My writing's circle's topic was depression and this is how i once felt and still feel sometimes. Honestly, most people truly just wont understand.
Depression is hard to explain. Those who've never had it, the "lucky ones" as I like to think simply won't understand. It's not that you're sad all the time... It's more like you just lack emotion. You go through your daily routine, but inside you're just a big ball of nothing. It's strange, really. At the end of the month, if someone were to ask you how that month was, you wouldn't have an answer. The days pass by like a blur. You watch others have fun with their friends and you just... you just wish that could be you. Why do they deserve it more than you? Why?
Oh then comes the constant wondering. It's so consistent you honestly can't keep your mind on anything besides the wonder. You know... what have I done to deserve this? How long can this, this gaping hole inside me last? Will I ever feel happiness - TRUE happiness - again?
Sometimes... well, no, more than sometimes, I reflect on life before this emptiness started. Life used to be so... colorful. Fun existed; you know what I'm saying? And I even find myself getting lost in those happy times! It's so great to feel again, but nothing is worse than leaving those memories and returning to reality. It's like a slap in the face. The color leaves and all you can see is black and white again.
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